October is my birthday month, however this October isn't any old birthday month.
It's the month I turn 30!
I remember the run up to Hubby's 30th birthday; I was constantly reassuring him that he wasn't old and that 30 was the new 20 and all that jazz, but now I'm here myself... well, let's just say there's a lot of reassurance coming my way!
I remember fondly turning 20; at the time, I was upset at no longer being a teenager - I told people I was going to say I was 'twenteen' (fyi: I never did)! But, six months or so into being twenty, I wasn't even thinking about my age! I was looking forward to turning 21 and graduating from university! It was early days for Hubby and me, but I think I knew, somewhere deep inside, that he was the one! As far as I was concerned my twenties were treating me well; they have continued to treat me well.
In the last ten years I have fallen in love, graduated from uni, got a 'real' job, bought a house, got married and travelled (albeit not as extensively as I might have liked); I cannot complain about how much fun my life has been since turning 20.
But there are only 10 days left until I turn 30.
So, why does 30 feel old?
I know logically it's not, and I also know that I'm perfectly happy with my life (even if I do have numerous dreams for a new home), so why does turning 30 fill me with such dread and a sense of 'time ticking away'?
Is it because I don't have children yet (something I'm perfectly happy with btw)?
Is it because we're not in our 'forever home'?
Is it because I feel like I can no longer throw caution to the wind (like I ever even did that before 30 #oldsoul) and act crazy, blaming it on a youthful indiscretion?
I don't know why turning 30 feels old and I'm sure that in ten years time, when I turn 40 (eeekk!), I will laugh at 29-year-old Laura, because she has no idea what the next ten years hold for her.